May
11
2008
| Anticipation [05/11/2008] |
| Written by Will | |||||||||
| Sunday, 11 May 2008 | |||||||||
|
No Hesitation While talking to her friends, a girl's wallet slips out of her pocket and onto the floor unnoticed. You immediately go over to her direction, pick up the wallet, and hand it to her with a bright confident smile. You didn't spend any time doubting your appearance, the purpose of such a conversation, what others would think of you, or any of the lame excuses that would have built up from anticipating such an approach. Where was your usual hesitation? The gentleman in you kicked in. You didn't care how she was going to react. You didn't overanalyze the situation. Or make yourself nervous by predicting every 1% possibility that might have occurred. That would've been too much of a commitment. You were outcome independent. With absolutely no expectations. During your next approach, try and incorporate some of these attitudes. Just don't ever mention the wallet. Difficulty Setting Imagine loading up an entirely new game for the first time and having it start you off on the last level. How well do you think you would do? Let me rephrase that question, how much longer do you think you'll be playing that game? Without getting down the basics, warming up, and practicing beforehand - you're simply not going to be ready for that level of difficulty. It'd be demoralizing to try and continue. I myself have been a victim of this mistake. So proud of myself, I'd just wait around all night until I would have the perfect opportunity to approach only the best looking girls of the venue. Even when you know what you're doing, it's hard as hell to get yourself into that comfortably conversational, charming, and charismatic state. What would you be left with if the approach failed? Work yourself up. And save your best self for last. The Failed Approach Kyle, a PUA rookie, just finished reading The Game and all about the Mystery Method. After carefully reviewing his notes in the club bathroom, he exits to make his planned approach to a group of girls who's celebrating their best friend's 21st birthday. "Hey ladies, can I get a quick female opinion about something?" Half interested, they lean in for the question. "Who lies more, men or women?" Occupied by the overflow of alcohol from their hot waiter and excitement from all the celebrations, Kyle is given a one word answer and brushed off by the entire group: "men." As he walks away, he smirks a smile. Kyle has actually gained from the interaction, +1xp. woOt! :D Not every approach will be successful. Not every shot will make it through the hoop. But any step is a step worth making. In this game - Even when you lose, you gain. Treat it like XP points in an RPG. After losing all your lives in a video game, you are faced with the words: "GAME OVER. Continue?" Do you go cry to your friends? Or complain about how badly you lost until the night is over? No. You have the option to continue, so take it. Each approach is like shooting hoops. Michael Jordan doesn't go cry to his mom if he misses a shot. Keep at it, and you'll keep growing. Don't get so affected by a sour approach. Calibration is key. So make sure you're paying attention to the environment, mood, and energy of those around you. Day Approach Strategy, Opposite Directions Scenario: A few blocks away from Union Square Park in New York City, you tread carefully around all the sidewalk construction. As you refocus your attention onto the sidewalk ahead, you happen to notice a young attractive girl heading in your direction. It's nearing winter, so the air is crisp. You take a deep breath of confidence as you prepare yourself for the moment... - Girl walks towards your direction (Shields up) - You continue moving forward - Still moving forward, you make eye contact and smile - Girl looks away in another direction (Shields up) - The two of you pass each other ("Whew, he didn't approach me!" Shields down) - You turn your head over your shoulder - You: "Excuse Me!" - Girl turns around (Curious) - You: "Hi, I was wondering where I could find a nice ____ around here." (Opinion opener) - Girl: Blah, blah, blah (Listen, reward, and relate) - You: "I love how you're so ____. You must be from ____." (Notice something about them) - Girl responds - You: "Oh really? What's there to do around there?" (Ask an open-ended question) - Girl responds - A few minutes later... - You: "My friends and I are going to ____ later tonight. You should come." (Invite to future social event) - Girl responds - You: "Hey thanks for all the help! (hug) Call me later tonight." (Assume familiarity) - You begin to walk away - Girl: "Wait a minute; I don't have your number." (Hooked!) - You smile back at her and exchange numbers. That was how I got my quickest number closure to date. A little under 5 minutes. Good luck! Relationship Confidence It's a dilemma everyone faces from time to time: How much space should you be giving your significant other? And when is it time to draw the lines? I think it's a compliment for others to admire or even desire to be with your girl. It'll make her want to stay healthy, sociable, and look her best. An escape from complacency! The same principle applies for guys. So don't be so over-protective. It communicates a lack of confidence and a fear of losing control. Don't get me wrong, it's good to be protective at times. It show's that you care. Just not every time they happen to check someone out. That's childish. Friendly flirting here and there is fine. But never give anyone the idea that they may be able to break up your relationship. It lowers your value, makes you look easy, susceptible to manipulation, and expresses that your partner is just not good enough. If you are seriously interested in alternatives, you should end your relationship first. Save the World, Lose the Girl The more we invest into a relationship, the more committed we become. Why? We measure worth and value based on how much they cost us. Whether it be monetary, time, or emotional pay off. A soft drink is worth $1 because it costs us $1. Diamonds, regardless of how plentiful they are, are valuable because of how much we are charged for them. So the more we buy stuff for our significant other, the more time we spend with them, and the more emotions mixed into the equation - the more difficult it becomes to leave them. If you want to keep a girl forever, make them do all of the above. They'll stay with you as long as you remain attractive. Vice versa. But what causes attraction? Attraction = Value, Attainability, and Compliance. Value is any quality or characteristic that makes something or someone desirable. Attainability is the capability or probability of enriching one's life with that value. Compliance is the belief that a majority of requirements will be or has been met by those values. If you want to lose the girl, redefine what you find to be attractive. And continue to reinforce those new beliefs. Hits: 169 Comments (5)
Kang
said:
|
|||||||||
| I love how you ask a question, you hear every response as "blah, blah, blah", and then you change the subject. |
Will
said:
|
The context of the conversation doesn't add to the framework of the strategy. It would only complicate the takeaways if I included the full 5 minute dialogue. But, If you really want to know what happened.. ask Kevin Chan :) |
kchan
said:
| Actually, all I remember is "blah, blah, blah" too. my girl says I'm on autopilot too much. It was quite smooth of Will when he did that. Then results of which ended up in a quite odd but memorable night. I'll leave out the details for that one. |
Alan
said:
| I remember the after effect --- will and his old habit of onegina. old? maybe it's still true to this day. |
Write comment
aqueous thoughts subside.
Copyright © 1985-2008 TimeStreams.Net. All rights reserved.